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Be Alive!

 

I’ve been working a lot lately, and I really do love my job.

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I love the people I work with, and I love watching people learn about the

past,

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, presentimg_1606

and future of space travel.

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I love meeting people from all over the world, and I love hearing stories of people that worked on getting man to the moon.

As much as I do love my job, I haven’t been doing a lot of creative work. I haven’t been feeding my inner artist. I haven’t been writing, improvising, and I really miss it.

Today, I headed out to the library, and I bought some used plays,

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and I’m going to try to find some new monologues to begin to work on. I have dusted off my most recent screenplay and I’m going to get back to working on it. I’m trying to remind myself on a daily basis to feed the artist that lives inside of me. I don’t want to loose the skills that I’ve developed over the last twelve years.

Also, I am happier when I create.

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As an artist, when you create, you feel more alive. So, I hope that soon, I will be back on stage, behind a camera, or in front of the camera giving the performance of my life. I hope that I can keep the creative candle burning. I hope I can always remember that whether I am working at my day job, or creating art that I effect people. I hope that I approach life not just barely existing, but alive.

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Reflections

I finally am at a place where I can stop and put into words what has occurred over the last 9 months. Life sometimes catches you by surprise. Sometimes it grabs you and takes you places you don’t want to go and frankly even though it may be the best thing for you, it still is painful.

All started in may, my husband took a voluntary layoff at the church he was working at. It was and is probably the hardest decision anyone had to make on all sides. I can only speak from our perspective, but for my husband, he was living a dream and that had to come to an end. He stayed on as an elder until September when he resigned. He had to find a job. A member of our congregation (who will never know because words can’t express how gratefully Eric and I are for his generosity) gave him a job. Several people helped us during this time. It definitely made it easier, but it was still very difficult.

At the end of July, I learned that I would no longer be a member of Face2Face Improv as it was closing its doors. My escape was being taken away. Eric was leaving ministry and I was losing my acting group.

During the process of seeing a time where dreams were ending or possible being delayed, my husbands grandmother passed away, he was asked to preach the funeral. A week later my down syndrome aunt past away. It was difficult to see my grandma suffer the loss of her only daughter that she wonderfully cared for. during this time, we were also helping Eric’s mom move from Alabama to California. Also, our youngest had band camp and school started. I know if I survived August 2012, it was only by the grace of God.

School started and the process of getting use to all the changes that came with not doing paid full time ministry left my husband and I to really understand that we didn’t know each other outside of ministry as well as we though because ministry consumed our lives, conversations, everything. We are learning new things we share in common. It’s fun.

Through the fall we thoroughly enjoyed football season, drama competitions and with November the holiday season started, we spent a lot of time with my family because for so many years we were to busy with church work that we would come and go quickly during holidays.

I’ve written all this not to blame,criticise, complain, but to say that through all of this I’m not still sure Why all of this happened, but I will say that I’ve tried to cling to Jesus.

Also, I was reminded by a dear friend of mine, there is someone out there that has it way worse than I do. At least I am not bearing these burdens alone. For those people who prayed for me, I will forever be thankful. For those who helped us with our financial needs during the process of the past three or four years, I will forever be thankful. For those of you that continue to encourage me daily, thank you. Life is to short to grow bitter and be alone. I love you my friends and thank you all.

FALL!!

I love this time of year. Why is it when everything is dying the colors are so beautiful? The colder air that flows through what summer brought us slowly makes it diminish causing in my opinion some beautiful changes to the leaves. Nature excepts death with such grace and beauty. As I age, may I enjoy every season of my life so when fall comes in my life the beauty of what the other seasons left will slowly fade into beautiful colors until winter comes.

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